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This is usually insecurity and attention-seeking around a new baby, not real aggression; give the older child attention and a 'big kid' role, never leave them unsupervised together, and redirect firmly but calmly instead of only saying no.
⚠️ Caution:Always keep an adult within arm's reach when a young toddler is near a small baby. If aggression is intense, escalating, or the child seems very distressed, speak to your pediatrician about support.
Parents feel torn between protecting the baby and not making the older child feel rejected, and often feel scared to let them near each other. The reassurance from moms is that this is a common, passing adjustment phase that eases with supervision, inclusion, and extra attention for the older child.
Here's what moms in our community shared based on their own experience.
It's very likely jealousy and insecurity - suddenly a new baby is getting all the attention. Toddlers act out to test whether they still matter. It usually settles once they feel secure again.
Never leave them alone together, even for a minute, until this phase passes. Supervise every interaction so you can step in before anything happens.
Give the older child dedicated one-on-one attention every day that has nothing to do with the baby, and involve her as a 'helper' - fetching a wipe, singing to the baby, choosing the baby's outfit. Feeling included reduces the acting out a lot.
Instead of only saying 'no' (which can make them do it more for a reaction), calmly show gentle hands - 'we touch the baby softly, like this' - and praise every gentle touch immediately.
Try not to scold the older child in front of the baby all the time; it deepens the 'the baby got me in trouble' feeling. Redirect to a fun activity when she gets rough.
The information shared on this page comes from real experiences of mothers in our community. While we strive to provide helpful insights, this content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with your pediatrician, healthcare provider, or other qualified medical professional for any questions regarding your child's health or development.
Last reviewed: July 28, 2026
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