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Postpartum Wellbeing

My nanny is neglectful or undermining me (sleeping, on the phone, badmouthing me, letting the baby call her 'mummy'). What should I do?

Moms are unanimous that this is unacceptable and that you should confront the nanny directly, show the camera evidence, set clear tasks and warnings, or replace her - the baby will adjust, and no amount of help justifies disrespect.

💡Quick Answer

  • •This behavior is unacceptable - don't let 'don't disturb the routine' override it
  • •Confront the nanny (and maid) directly with clear, firm warnings
  • •Show the camera evidence and set a written task list
  • •Replace the nanny if needed - new ones can be found
  • •The baby will adjust within a few days

⚠️ Caution:If you have safety concerns about how your baby is being cared for, act on them - your child's wellbeing comes before maintaining a routine.

🤔What Parents Worry About

A working parent's nightmare is captured here: caught on camera, a trusted nanny is neglecting the baby, badmouthing the mom, and even being called 'mummy' - and a partner says not to rock the boat. The community validates the alarm fully, insisting the baby's wellbeing outweighs routine, urging a firm confrontation backed by the camera evidence, clear task lists and warnings, or simply replacing the nanny - reassuring that new caregivers can be found and that the baby adjusts within days.

Community Answers from Moms(3)

Here's what moms in our community shared based on their own experience.

  1. 1

    Confront both the nanny and maid clearly about what's unacceptable and give a warning - they need to know they're employed because of you. Set a timetable and task list and review in a few days; the baby's wellbeing matters more than the bonding routine.

  2. 2

    This is absolutely not done. Either confront them or replace the nanny - you can always find new ones, and no amount of help justifies badmouthing you behind your back.

  3. 3

    Be bold: show them the camera recording and warn them strictly. You are paying them. Your child will take just a few days to adjust and will learn to.

About These Answers

The information shared on this page comes from real experiences of mothers in our community. While we strive to provide helpful insights, this content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with your pediatrician, healthcare provider, or other qualified medical professional for any questions regarding your child's health or development.

Last reviewed: June 17, 2026

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My nanny is neglectful or undermining me (sleeping, on the phone, badmouthing me, letting the baby call her 'mummy'). What should I do? | Real Mom Answers | Mom Insider